I started watching a show recently called 'skinny girl in transit'. This show is hilarious to say the least. Its about a "chubby" girl trying to loose weight. The show doesn't actually focus on her weight loss, but the factors that surround the weight loss journey. It also gives an insight to how 'Tiwa' the main characters sees herself through her transformation journey.
There are three seasons so far. The show started off as a short web-series, but as the seasons continue the episodes get longer. I can really relate with Tiwa and her mentality towards herself most times, if not all the time. She honestly shows how big girls often think of themselves and the emotional rollercoaster we go through. Her family, friends and surrounding situation make the show all the more fun to watch. I wish I could say more, but I can't because I do not want to give out any spoilers. So make sure you check it out. I'm sure you'll love it.
I'm back at it again guys. Why do I keep doing this to myself. Why? I make myself suffer only to indulge in guilty pleasures later. 😪. I can't seem to find the will to carry on. I've been good, very good, I've kept myself away from junk, I've been eating healthily, drinking water like a fish. Chowed down on them greens like sheep, following the crazy shepherd of insanity Shaun T, or whatever his name is. 😪. I'm tired! Tired! Tired! Tired!
I tasted an eclair and my whole world came crashing down. I rampaged through the chocolate aisle in ASDA like a vampire on a blood thirst frenzy. 😪.
This has got to stop. Someone make it stop. Oh yeah, only I can. 😪.
Ok, I guess I'll start another approach, because clearly starving myself of chocolate doesn't work. New plan.
Baby steps. I'm sure you've heard of the saying, "slow and steady wins the race". Well I'm taking that onboard. Clearly fast and easy ain't working, and it ain't easy either.
No, I'm not going to use this as an excuse to indulge in stuffing my face in chocolate. It'll mean I'll allow myself a treat on certain days of the week, so that I keep myself disciplined. I'm also going to be starting insanity again, because I know i can do better. Although I've been following it, it's mainly been watching Shaun T, and his insane followers kill themselves, while I'm laying on the floor gasping for air, from just doing the warm up. I could feel the fat melting off from just watching them.😂😂. On that note lets begin!!!💃💃💃💪
I heard that time flies when you're having fun. It also flies when you are wasting time doing nothing. By nothing I mean anything not contributing to your mental, physical or spiritual growth. Just lazing around, not watching the time go by, cause if you were watching the time, you would know how much of it you've lost.
This all goes back to the topic of today. Procrastination! Boy do I hate that word. It keeps getting me, especially when it come to losing weight. Comment below if you know what I'm talking about.
You know when you are about to go to bed and you make a plan for the next day, which includes going to the gym. You feel so motivated that you go to bed with a smile. Then your alarm clock rings and instead of jumping of the bed and getting ready for your day, you turn to the other side. "I'm so tired", you grumble to yourself. All that motivation has followed the night away, and you say to yourself. 'I'll go tomorrow, I'll definitely go tomorrow.' Then tomorrow comes and it's the same thing. After a couple of day you don't even bother setting the alarm. Does that sound like you, or anyone you know? Cause that's me.
I say to myself sometimes, "just go". When I finally do go, I feel great and excited about the next day. Then I start setting unrealistic goals. Before I know it, going to the gym becomes like planning for a holiday that happens once a year, if I'm favoured, twice a year. The cycle goes on and on and on.
So how do I overcome this habit of procrastination? Comment down below.
Fact is reality - 'but the truth will set you free'
Something came up recently that Got me thinking. In my previous post I mentioned how I accepted myself as being overweight. I actually used the word "fat".
Apart from trying to move away from the negative mind set fuelled by other, and the pure hatred that surges out of me when that word is used at me. I just try to see it as what it is. A mere word.
Words can be painful. They can be used as a weapons to destroy, but can also be used to build. Therefore I choose to use the word to build myself, not tear myself down. So when I used the word "fat" now. It is just a fact.
Fat - '(a person) having a large amount of excess flesh'. Why is it so hard to accept this fact. I do have a large amount of excess flesh, not as much as some people but more than some too, but it doesn't define me. It doesn't stop me from being me, and shouldn't. I am still beautiful, loved, fearfully and wonderfully made in every way, and that's the truth. People can sharpen their tongues and throw those words like daggers at me (obese, piggy, larger than life), but they just fall off. Those words aren't WHO I AM. So yeh I am fat! I am fat in beauty, I am fat in love, I am fat in kindness, I am fat, fine and worth it. That's my truth.
Ps 139: 14 - I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Acceptance - When you finally realise that you're FAT!
Fat is not a word a lot of people like. We tend to prefer the words 'big', 'voluptuous' and the ever famous 'curvy'. I find myself taking offence to people making remarks, especially when these words are used ("inappropriately"), but anything sounds better than the word fat. As long as it doesn't make reference to the 'extra' weight I seem to carry.
I got home the other day and as always I was so excited to see my family again. After spending a couple of hours at home, my mum came to visit me in my room. Of course we caught up about what's been happening with me, and at home while I was away. You know, the usually mother daughter chit chat. Suddenly it turn a little sour as I heard the bitter truth from my mum. 'Janet, you've gain a lot of weight, you should consider joining the gym'. Now you would thing that hearing this from my mum would be a more painful that hearing from others. Nope. Not to me. Although the raw honesty was a little hurtful, and did prick me somewhere in my heart. It was far better than the brutal words of others. Especially those that have no right to comment on my weight, but feel the need to satisfy their uncanny desire to grace me with their "unintentional" rudeness. It was the truth. I just had to chew it up and swallow it, because this was coming from a mother's heart with the purest of intentions. The conversation turn sweet again as we moved on to talk about other things, and laughed till we both fell asleep.
11 pm. I woke up thinking about the words my mother had said. I would like to say, that then and there I decided to make a change but no. All I did was meditate on it and the things that were going on in life at that moment. Don't get me wrong loosing weight was important but not on the top of my list. In fact in was quite close to the bottom. ( Here comes the back lashes).
I had too many things to think about. My graduation is around the conner, I have to think about how I would support myself afterwards or my next plan of action, my health was playing up too (has nothing to do with my weight). So at that moment all I could do was accept the I AM FAT. I'm not ashamed of it. It's just a hurdle that I will jump over at one point in my life.