Acceptance - When you finally realise that you're FAT!
Fat is not a word a lot of people like. We tend to prefer the words 'big', 'voluptuous' and the ever famous 'curvy'. I find myself taking offence to people making remarks, especially when these words are used ("inappropriately"), but anything sounds better than the word fat. As long as it doesn't make reference to the 'extra' weight I seem to carry.
I got home the other day and as always I was so excited to see my family again. After spending a couple of hours at home, my mum came to visit me in my room. Of course we caught up about what's been happening with me, and at home while I was away. You know, the usually mother daughter chit chat. Suddenly it turn a little sour as I heard the bitter truth from my mum. 'Janet, you've gain a lot of weight, you should consider joining the gym'. Now you would thing that hearing this from my mum would be a more painful that hearing from others. Nope. Not to me. Although the raw honesty was a little hurtful, and did prick me somewhere in my heart. It was far better than the brutal words of others. Especially those that have no right to comment on my weight, but feel the need to satisfy their uncanny desire to grace me with their "unintentional" rudeness. It was the truth. I just had to chew it up and swallow it, because this was coming from a mother's heart with the purest of intentions. The conversation turn sweet again as we moved on to talk about other things, and laughed till we both fell asleep.
11 pm. I woke up thinking about the words my mother had said. I would like to say, that then and there I decided to make a change but no. All I did was meditate on it and the things that were going on in life at that moment. Don't get me wrong loosing weight was important but not on the top of my list. In fact in was quite close to the bottom. ( Here comes the back lashes).
I had too many things to think about. My graduation is around the conner, I have to think about how I would support myself afterwards or my next plan of action, my health was playing up too (has nothing to do with my weight). So at that moment all I could do was accept the I AM FAT. I'm not ashamed of it. It's just a hurdle that I will jump over at one point in my life.